Please elect me as your Senator.
I am photogenic and like it when cameras are on me. I like to be lobbied and cajoled. I LOVE to fly First Class! I want want WANT an entourage! I very much need to feel important.
I have no real interest in “governing” per se. In fact, I’ll be honest with you … I see no purpose for government. I’m definitely willing to shut the government down. “Government is not the solution to the problem; government is the problem!” Right? Am I right? (Hold for applause.)
“Government of the people, by the people, for the people ….” (Wow, I’m doing really awesome with the presidential quotes! They’re eating it up!)
But anyway … where was I? .. oh yeah, the PEOPLE. Now when we say “the people” let’s define the term – we’re not talking about the elderly, the disabled, anyone unemployed, or the working poor … not anyone earning under $ 200,000.00 per year, right? And not unelected federal workers either? Those aren’t “the people” we’re talking about, are we? Because if we’re not, then, yeah … government of not those people, by not those people, for not those people. Yeah, I’m definitely cool with not those people.
So … anyway … God Bless America! Oh, and … uh … the Troops!!! (Whew! Almost forgot.)
Vote for me!
xoxo, Joe the Politician
“Where do you see yourself in 5 years, Mr. Dunk Tank?”
“Well by that time I would hope that the effects of my hard work and visionary policies would have depleted your company such that we could “drown it in a bathtub” so … I guess I see myself drowning your company in a bathtub. Yes, yes … in five years, I should like to accomplish that!”
When politicians who hold and speak those beliefs are elected, we should not be surprised when their hard work and visionary policies are at depleting the American government.
What did you expect, you silly goose?
The American public does not think much of the American Congress. Our elected officials do not miss an opportunity to show themselves to be small-minded, selfish little men and women seemingly incapable of acting in the best interest of the country. With few exceptions, they are maddening, media-seeking buffoons.
9% approval rating. What do you expect, you maddening, silly little gooses?
I find solace in the fact that the foolishness of Congress is not emblematic of most of the federal workforce.
It is galling when the zeitgeist and pervasive rhetoric of politicians, journalists, and the American public denigrate the federal workforce for inefficiency and incompetence without knowing that the United States’ federal workforce is, as a whole, fantastically efficient and competent.
According to the non-partisan Center on Budget and Policy Priorities,
Budget data for the major low-income assistance programs – Medicaid, food stamps (now known as the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, or SNAP), the Supplemental Security Income program for the elderly and disabled poor, housing vouchers, the school lunch and breakfast programs and the Earned Income Tax Credit – show that, in every case, federal administrative costs range from less than 1 percent to 8 percent of total federal program spending.
A perusal of Charity Navigator – Your Guide to Intelligent Giving a website providing data on the overhead costs of charities shows that almost no private-sector charity’s administrative and fund-raising overhead is at or below 8% of total program spending. Furthermore, these charitable entities provide the tiniest patchwork of services to relatively minute numbers of people as compared with the United States government.
In 1985, journalist Don Feder wrote in an article published in the June-July issue of Conservative Digest magazine that “no one has to teach us to detest public workers. It comes naturally, by a process of observation and experience.”
I do not detest public workers. My observations and experiences have led me to quite an opposite estimation of them. With rare exception, I respect them. For the most part, I have encountered federal workers who are knowledgeable and efficient, and who manage a volume of work that most would find daunting, if not debilitating.
While it is galling when federal workers are insulted and defamed, it is particularly chafing when they are insulted and defamed by politicians – of all people.